Conversations

Last night I had an amazing conversation with someone. Do you ever get that feeling that you are in the right place doing the right thing at the right time? Like you are in your element and the Holy Spirit is there working right along side you? Last night felt like that to me.

There was this guy who wanted to tell me about a 'spiritual awakening' he had that had revolutionized the way he thought about things. He opened up about his struggles and questions concerning God and the bible. But these questions and struggles came from a deep and sincere desire to know the truth. In Proverbs 2 verses 3-5, it says "if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God."

God wants us to search for truth! Sometimes, even although that path seems to bring us away from God, His word promises that he will reveal himself! Please, search for truth, for in searching for truth you are searching for God who says that "I am the way, the truth and the life!"

Henry

A few years ago I had dedicated myself to daily spending time in prayer, in the word, and in keeping a journal. I try not to glamorize that time because I wasn't always perfectly consistent and everything wasn't always hunky-dory, but I remember feeling closer to God. I remember seeing people differently. What I would say and do seemed to have a greater impact on people's lives. I had a deeper sense of contentment. I had more energy and self-control.

But all of that seemed to fade when I stopped. It was a gradual process with moments of brief resurgence, but the fruit withered when I neglected to root myself deeply in Love.

Last weekend, I met a man named Henry began chatting with me as we waited in line. I don’t really remember how our talk quickly turned from waiting-in-line-chit-chat, to a deep and challenging conversation about life. He told me how he gets up early every morning to spend time with God. He shared with me how he has spent time journaling and praying and reading his bible for the last four years and how that has changed his life. His marriage is stronger now that it ever was. He is a better father than he was. His criticism for others has turned to love and acceptance. He loves God and knows His love like never before.

I made a promise to Henry that day. I promised to spend about an hour each morning of the week in devotion to God. There is this huge part of me that feels silly and apprehensive for even making a promise like that - or for writing it in here for that matter. I have made and broken so many promises. I long so deeply for the ability or the dependence necessary to transform ‘impact’ into lasting change.

Sustain me Lord, I pray.

3 DAYS

Statistics say that if you do not implement any sort of real change to your life within 3 days of being challenged and inspired, then it will most likely remain as nothing more than an emotional experience.

I was challenged this weekend! I was inspired, excited and motivated. The Meeting House hosted the 'Change Conference' to inspire and empower emerging leaders. As we loaded the bus and left the conference, I encouraged each teen to do something that would begin a real change in their hearts and in their worlds.

I can't expect someone else to do something that I am not willing to do myself. So, I decided to write this blog as a sort of accountability to see that challenge through. I want to be held accountable to the changes I feel need to be made in my life.

There were a couple things that pulled on my heart-strings and provoked my thoughts. After listening to each of the speakers communicate their passions and testimonies, I had to ask them how they discovered and managed to pursue their 'thing'. Their responses to my question ignited something inside of me.

I have always been a goals-oriented person. I want to follow something that is clear and finite (def: having limits or bounds). But the problem with finite plans are the boundaries they impose on God's infinite plans for my life. Each speaker made it very clear that they had not 'arrived'. Although I knew that, I had never connected the dots. Todd Bender, the "City Kidz" founder encouraged me to "be a servant in the area of your passions" and "God will use you". What I finally 'got' was that there were no clear goals set out for each of these men and women. Each one had just been faithful with each day and allowed God to use and lead them. Matthew 10:39 sums this up well; "Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." The challenge for me is to serve Christ daily with my passions and allow God's infinite plans to surprise me.

So what does this mean on a practical level? How have I used the 3 days that followed this convention? Well, I am writing a blog and asking for accountability...sort of a step I guess. Yesterday after church I had a talk with a couple that I had been meaning to touch-base with. After saying the regular "hey, how are you doing," I dug a little deeper and closer to my passion. Everyone that knows me will probably tell you that I get all excited when you talk about relationships and mentoring. I am passionate about these things. So instead of saying, "well see you around," I invited them into my life. I said that Alida and I would LOVE to have them over for supper sometime. I knew that was a step of obedience - a practical step toward implementing real change in my life. I am looking forward to serving them with my passions.

I have to add one more thing! The main speaker, Kary Oberbrunner said I should block out some of the noise in my life - do a media or noise fast. For nearly a year, I have felt a tug on my heart to do that, but I have ignored it with 'good' reasons and excuses. I need to surrender to that tug! I have to set aside the noise and distractions that I feel awkward without. I have to seek God.

I hope that after reading this blog, you will find some way to take whatever your unique challenge is (whether or not you attended the 'Change Conference'), and make it more than an emotional experience that is likely to stay in the past.

"God will only use you to the extent you allow him to use you!"
(Todd Bender)

A New Year

So we had our HSM kick-off night yesterday and I would have to say it went very well. The beginning of the year is always bitter-sweet for me.

The beginning of the year is exciting because I get to see a whole bunch of youth that I haven't seen very much over the summer. Also, seeing how much some people change and mature over just one summer is pretty crazy. It might sound a little hokey, but I get really excited to work and plan and dream with the leaders. Each year we try our new experiments on a few more guinea pigs!

But there is the flip side to the beginning of a new HSM year. For starters, i am going to miss a whole bunch of kids that I just spent the last four years getting to know and sharing life with. I am going to miss them this year.

But the most rewarding part of being a youth leader is seeing and being a part of the change that happens in someone's life. Words can't describe how awesome it is to witness that proverbial light bulb turn on - when someone realizes that this church thing is more than just a church thing. Most of the teens that left last year grew sooo much in their last year especially! So it is sad in one sense to see them leave, but I know that most of the them will make a huge impact in other peoples lives. THAT is way better than keeping them to myself!

Looking ahead at the year in front of me, I wonder who will grow. I wonder what new kid will stroll in and find that HSM is a place where he/she feels accepted. I wonder also, about the kid that could walk in and have no one talk to them. I wonder if I will say what I need to say when it needs saying. I wonder if I will shut up when I need to shut up. Will I be real, honest, and open enough with who I am? Will my life model the kind of stuff that we talk about every Wednesday?

There are so many questions, but our first night might be a bit of an indication on how the year will unfold. First, there were a few new kids (niners) that showed up. As far as I could see, they fit in like...um...well, they fit in. Younger kids were commiserating with older kids. There were no fist fights (I guess this has probably never happened on a first night, but it's still a good thing it didn't happen) but instead there was this air of happiness. This sounds cheesy I know, but that is what makes a youth group; people come and stay because they feel loved and accepted. Simple? Yes! But that's what I saw and felt. I didn't see or hear anyone being made fun of or put down.

Judging by that first night (and i know it's probably not too much to go on, but..), I feel like we have a youth group that is willing and wanting to step it up a notch. I see kids who are looking out for the needs of others and wanting to grow and be changed. I am looking forward to this new year - the challenges and rewards. I think I like bittersweet.